Reminder of God's grace

I don't think I have ever posted 3x in a month before so this is a record.But the reason for this post is because I read my 20 year old cousin's post on Facebook and it moved me to tears. This a girl 11 years my junior. Heck, she's born in 1989!!! Yet she is so incredibly mature for her age and probably even more so than me at mine now. If I ever had a daughter, I would want her to be just like Nat.

Here's an excerpt from her post from 1 January 2009 and I just wanted to put it here on my blog so that I will always be reminded of it.

And thank you Nat for the reminder that God is faithful forevermore and when you surrender, everything just falls into place.

Just before 12AM today, it struck me that this is the second year I can truly say that I have absolutely no regrets for the old year, and that I look forward to the year ahead with joy, hope, and more than that - a sense of security and confidence that it will be great. It is an amazing and privileged position to be in. More than that, it is a position that is pretty impossible to achieve on my own.

Honestly, how can anyone hope to have no regrets, disappointments or fears going into the new year, unless they have lived the year perfectly? And I know I haven't. I've screwed up as much as the average person, maybe more. There are so many things I could have done better. But as I was looking back, trying to figure out what the big mistakes of 2008 were so I could do better in 2009, I could barely see them. All I could see was the overwhelming grace of God covering every aspect of my life. Turning mistakes into successes that drew me closer to Him. Leading me and walking beside me through every situation big and small (including sleeping on airport benches in Heathrow).

It's not that I don't have a list of things that should be done better in 2009, it's just that for each thing on that list, I can recall the Lord's faithfulness in 2008 - in spite of those failures. Those things don't hold me back because someone bigger, stronger and kinder than me is leading me in paths of righteousness, and there's no turning back.

I realised recently that the very best place to be is one of gratitude. Not a hurriedly belted-out thanks-for-the-turkey, or even making a long list of thanksgivings (though that might serve as an means of expression). It's being brought to a position of knowing how undeserving I am of everything I've been given. Job, grades, scholarship, family, spiritual family and leadership, CHC, good roommate, safe travel, and most importantly His presence and guidance and patience in spite of my selfishness, rebelliousness and unfaithfulness. His mercy and forgiveness through the blood and the cross.

It reaches a point of wanting to ask "WHY am I so blessed? I don't understand. I should be cast out, alone in the depths of the earth for all the crap I've done." At that point words fail and raised hands and tears and bowed knees can only begin to express the overflowing gratitude and joy of the heart. When grace is poured out, I see my smallness in the light of God's abundance and there is no other way to respond.

Crossing over into the new year, that's the place I find myself again. And with this gratitude comes boldness and a hopeful certainty, because what God did in 2007, He did again in 2008, and He'll do again in 2009 - "He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake." Faith in someone who is faithful is relying on someone reliable. It's a very sensible thing to do - that's why businesses stress their track record. "Anchor beer, brewed since 1896," etc. I imagine a similar slogan - "God, faithful since The Beginning." There's no one else I will surrender my 2009, and beyond that, my entire life to with joy and thanksgiving.

It will be an amazing year, and an amazing lifetime."