Am I cursed or something?

It's been awhile hasn't it? I write 3 posts in a month, then disappear for 3 months. I guess that's because my life's been happy and peaceful up till now. I had 3 months of quiet and uneventfulness. Some people may think it's boring. I find it wonderful. Life doesn't have to be a witch's brew of excitement and adventures for it to be fulfilling. I like the coasting. I like the soft rocking of a hammock and the bubbling of a brook to the roar of the ocean. Then again, I have always been a laid back type of gal. And I make no apologies for it. All the "polite feedback" from industrious busy bees be damned.

My peace was shattered last evening. By another tumultuous turn in The Relationship. No, it didn't end. No, it wasn't even that big a fight. No, there were no 3rd parties. The horror descended in the form of realisation that I could very well be damned. Or cursed when it came to happy relations. Either that or I have to be constantly reminded that it comes with a hefty pricetag. Or that it never lasts and I'm just kidding myself that I can sustain a peaceful relationship.

Earlier the same day, I was just thinking we're going to be fine. All is good and calm. We're very happy, warm and fuzzy, shit hit the fan right that evening and brought me thumping back to earth. We had a horrid end to the evening. I teared for a little while then nothing. Just numb. Here it goes again... I'm never meant to be happy for long am I?

Something has always got to get screwed up. And somehow it's always my fault.

Again.

Always wrong.

Always the troublemaker.

Always. Always. Always.

Again. Again. Again.

Lesson learned - never be consciously happy. Never think to yourself that you are blessed for long. Cos it bites you in the butt like a rottweiler.