Moving on, growing up

It's been almost 8 months here at this little non-profit place. This neurotic, schizo world made up of:

1. Strangers who knock at the door asking the most inane of questions
2. Intellectual radicals who like to rant
3. Complaining aunties, sometimes with good intentions
4. Pro-governement zombies who are just so..so... *roll eyes*
5. See-saw wannabes who toggle between domesticity and independence
6. Sweet, humble folk who enjoy life and understand simplicity
7. Publicity whores
8. Self-important hypocrites who pretend they actually believe in some cause when in reality, they are no. 7

It's been a real eye-opener outside the corporate landscape. In the corp world, everyone's pretty standard in a way. You can see common threads running through people , much like same-coloured strings pulled by the puppet master CEO. Everyone's preoccupied with almost similar worries about cost cutting, operates with efficiency, minds are all geared towards the same goal called the bottomline.

It's not so clearcut in here. There is a mishmash of people from all walks and hierachies of society, from your prolific socialites to the homeless, weak and vunerable, from very young to grandmothers, from pro-PAP to government critics and the idealistic to the jaded machines. My eyes have opened to the many lives of our Singaporean and expatriate ways, thoughts and hearts. Some are golden, some are grey. There is no black and white.

It's been a great ride here. Not all the time but my own weirdness have fit in better here than it had ever did in the corp landscape. I talk as if am leaving and in some ways, I am. Had a quiet session with myself the other day and like I told MA, I think I finally have some inkling of who I am and where I'm headed. And the time's right now. The slow learner is learning. Who knows how long it'll take before I bloom but this is a start. The forum helped me to complete my past, God answered me by bringing my family back together again, MA loves, shoulders and supports me in my growing up. I have every blessing I can have and it's time for me to stop hiding and get out and be out there.

Anne's back from the States and she called the other day saying Nova's hubby is on life support. He had a fall which seemed minor, and shortly after fell into a coma. Now he's in ICU on life support and even if he makes it through, he'll be brain damaged. Would've turned 45 next month. It really shook me. And I don't even know him that well. But every year, the people who die suddenly or from freak accidents creep closer into my 7 degrees of separation. I don't want to die knowing I never tried coming close to my dreams, or never got married or experienced childbirth, or had an only-civil relationship with my parents, or had superficial friendships or didn't give back in some small way. If I had only 15 years left, that's not much time.

Time to get a move on...