We're back from the airport. Just sent off ah sai (a.k.a. my sister) and feeling rather sad. Have not cried yet.. we did that at mass yesterday already. But there's a funny feeling welling up in my chest that has not found the surface, upon which I think would mean, active tearduct activity.
She'll be gone for a year and I will miss her dearly. My sister is my best friend. Like she said, amongst other things (unflattering and flattering) written on my birthday card, "I'll never be alone in my weirdness becos of you." She alone understands the dysfunctionality of our family, my own strangenes that so mirrors her own. We are very different, from our looks to taste in fashion, food and habits but somehow, we are also the same. Is this what blood does to you? Bind you in some inexplicable way, making you recognisable only to blood.
Ah sai and I share a bond. I know she feels it too but she's less vocal than I am about expressing emotions. The past few months have been a countdown to tonight but this morning, it was here. The day finally came. And she only finally got packed at 7pm. We had dinner at Soup Restaurant and ate a ton. I thought I would cry at the airport but I didn't. Instead, I was the naggy cow. Remember this, remember that... I can't help it. Am just naturally protective of her. Like when we were young and our then-maid would lock her and ah sai in the room to make her take a nap. She'd be wailing her guts out and I would worry.
So much so that 7-year-old me would climb outside our 6th floor window ledge and peer into the next room to spy and make sure she was ok. There was a time I nearly slipped but God had other plans for me not to die early. But this is how fiercely protective I am about that dodo. And I miss her already. She's very noisy at home, blasting japanese music and crap that it's oddly silent.
No comments:
Post a Comment