When the hormones kick in

I hate it when these things called hormones act up. I sort of picture them like millions of horrid green imps with pitchforks coursing through my body wrecking havoc everywhere.

I wonder if most women feel it as keenly as I do. My whole back feels perpetually on fire and I can't sleep lying on my back as I always do. Yes, my sleeping position is like that of a vampire... arms folded across my bolster atop me. It's not a very graceful sight. Apart from the physical body going haywire like profuse perspiration, swollen boobs and all, my fuse gets really short and everything irritates me. Worse thing is, I KNOW that it's happening. Kind of an out-of-body experience.

It gets worse as I age. Or perhaps its because I'm getting more aware of the changes to my body. Ever since I hit the big 3-O, my hips have gotten wider and the body stores fat like a squirrel stores nuts for winter. My appetite hasn't changed but the metabolism sure has and maybe that's the problem. Fat deposits everywhere. Skin has slackened and its lost its dewiness. Exfoliation has become a twice weekly affair now that the pores keep clogging up. Dark spots take an eternity to lighten, if it has to begin with. To think I'd always thought I'd age relatively well. But confronting it now, it's a really tough battle.

I see a need for change in my lifestyle. I see a need to get back into an exercise regime, to eat well and rest more. However, the urgency is somewhat suppressed by the end of each day, after confronting the stresses of adulthood issues. Solace is found in TV and junk which after consuming, just makes me feel sick. The only real peace I have is in prayer. Prayer and faith that keep me sane, keep me going knowing that this is another part of the journey.

The comforting thing is, that despite all the weird on-goings in my physicality, I now have an inner strength that I never had before. I face the world with all its daily battles in my stride, because I am not alone. I hear His whispers in the stillness of my heart and the joy I feel is beyond description. It makes life livable, even beautiful despite all the doom and gloom that we read about everyday.

Some people ask why do you bother when God lets these horrible things happen? Fires in Australia, fighting in Gaza, moral breakdown in the UK with a 13 year old fathering a child, global economic meltdown that wiped out so many people's lifesavings and drove them out of their homes? Someone said to me there is no god and we're all going to get sucked into a black hole when we die.

What have you done to make life for the people and environment around you better? I ask them. We never take responsibility for our actions, choosing to justify in such a way that it just benefits our own selfish motives. We encourage greed and the glorify the grotesque and we wonder why our world is going to the dogs? We reap what we sow. So stop whining and do something about it. Help someone, be nice to your family and friends and colleagues even when they are horrible to you, be less self centred. Volunteer for something, anything. If you're not doing anything, you have no right to sit on your arse and complain. When was the last time you gave thanks for all that you have?

God listens and speaks when you quieten yourself and block out the white noise. People who say there isn't one don't look for Him hard enough.

Why should He come to you when you don't go to Him?