Resolution.
Is a terrible word. Once you've made one, you're sure to break it. Just like how I made one, here in blogworld about how I was going to write something here once a week and till now, I haven't. In fact, am doing the very opposite. Am putting off writing anything.
The year's coming to an end and I'm taking stock these few days.
On my relationship with God:
I think it's improved by leaps and bounds. My prayer life used to be limited to zoning out at mass every Sunday. I didn't want to talk to god, blamed him for everything and shut him out for so long. But this year, things are different. I spoke to him again.. as in really poured my heart and soul out and he replied! I could actually hear him although it was only 1 simple sentence. It was like coming home after being lost in the darkness. Am much happier, even in times of frustration, disappointment and hurt. I never knew my faith could be this strong.
On my relationship with my family:
I'm home! Been away for so long, shut them out of my life for the last 3 years and now, I enjoy dinners with them every other night. Despite the nagging and stickiness, I'm kind of glad and grateful. But I miss my sister. The other biological half that shares everything with me and yes, " I'll never be alone in my weirdness becos of you.". Countdown till she comes home from Japan.
On my relationship with my other half:
We're doing well. At least I think so but baby if you disagree, feel free to add your comments. He's helped me through so many trials since we've been together. Accepted me for who I am, my past and been such a positive light to my pessimistic nature. He's taught me to believe in my abilites, been patient and loving. One cannot ask for more. I hope we continue to grow old together in love, warmth and affection.
On my friendships:
My girlfriends. What can I say? The rocks that I lean on, the shoulders I've cried on, the laughter we've shared and of cos, the coffee and shopping expeditions. I treasure each of them dearly and though some I don't see very often these days, I miss them and hold the memories of our youth close to my heart. The ones I see more often, I always look forward to more. I don't make many new girlfriends these days. Hardly in fact. Becos I'm not comfortable with mere strangers and opening up to them. So all the more precious they become, my girlfriends.
On career:
There has always been a lack of focus. And I'm always grappling with a lack of one. Perhaps am too harsh on myself for the lack of professional accomplishment but problem is, I only grapple with it when am compared to others. By myself, I'm fine not to be some corporate highflyer. I'm fine not being a mover-shaker type. I like the low profile. I don't enjoy the competition. I just want to find out what my passion is and move in that direction. Am almost 30. I need a career identity. My better half says you can't rush these things, Anne says some people take their whole lives to find out what they do best. God last said to me, " You need to learn patience." So I guess my time isn't here yet.
On last year's resolutions:
Made only one and did not accomplish it. That was to earn my driver's license. And so, it's being brought forward to 2008. Cringe... oh dear..
