I hate it when these things called hormones act up. I sort of picture them like millions of horrid green imps with pitchforks coursing through my body wrecking havoc everywhere.
I wonder if most women feel it as keenly as I do. My whole back feels perpetually on fire and I can't sleep lying on my back as I always do. Yes, my sleeping position is like that of a vampire... arms folded across my bolster atop me. It's not a very graceful sight. Apart from the physical body going haywire like profuse perspiration, swollen boobs and all, my fuse gets really short and everything irritates me. Worse thing is, I KNOW that it's happening. Kind of an out-of-body experience.
It gets worse as I age. Or perhaps its because I'm getting more aware of the changes to my body. Ever since I hit the big 3-O, my hips have gotten wider and the body stores fat like a squirrel stores nuts for winter. My appetite hasn't changed but the metabolism sure has and maybe that's the problem. Fat deposits everywhere. Skin has slackened and its lost its dewiness. Exfoliation has become a twice weekly affair now that the pores keep clogging up. Dark spots take an eternity to lighten, if it has to begin with. To think I'd always thought I'd age relatively well. But confronting it now, it's a really tough battle.
I see a need for change in my lifestyle. I see a need to get back into an exercise regime, to eat well and rest more. However, the urgency is somewhat suppressed by the end of each day, after confronting the stresses of adulthood issues. Solace is found in TV and junk which after consuming, just makes me feel sick. The only real peace I have is in prayer. Prayer and faith that keep me sane, keep me going knowing that this is another part of the journey.
The comforting thing is, that despite all the weird on-goings in my physicality, I now have an inner strength that I never had before. I face the world with all its daily battles in my stride, because I am not alone. I hear His whispers in the stillness of my heart and the joy I feel is beyond description. It makes life livable, even beautiful despite all the doom and gloom that we read about everyday.
Some people ask why do you bother when God lets these horrible things happen? Fires in Australia, fighting in Gaza, moral breakdown in the UK with a 13 year old fathering a child, global economic meltdown that wiped out so many people's lifesavings and drove them out of their homes? Someone said to me there is no god and we're all going to get sucked into a black hole when we die.
What have you done to make life for the people and environment around you better? I ask them. We never take responsibility for our actions, choosing to justify in such a way that it just benefits our own selfish motives. We encourage greed and the glorify the grotesque and we wonder why our world is going to the dogs? We reap what we sow. So stop whining and do something about it. Help someone, be nice to your family and friends and colleagues even when they are horrible to you, be less self centred. Volunteer for something, anything. If you're not doing anything, you have no right to sit on your arse and complain. When was the last time you gave thanks for all that you have?
God listens and speaks when you quieten yourself and block out the white noise. People who say there isn't one don't look for Him hard enough.
Why should He come to you when you don't go to Him?
17 Feb 2009
3 Dec 2008
Show me the bed
We came back from Beijing last week and since then, I have been exhausted. The trip was quite all right except for the spitterbugs from chinese hell. They spit everywhere and the BF and i spent alot of time staring at the grounds to avoid stepping on them and in the process, missed out on appreciating China better. And did i mention it was freezing! Am not used to the cold and i don't like it one itty itty bit. The BF revels in it though cos he's the Human Heater and feels no cold. Spent all the time there in 4 layers. Not fun.
9 Oct 2008
Publicity, thy name is my woe
Have been planning an event for this coming November, and am right now, panicking that may not be enough people to attend it. I have a pretty great list of speakers lined up and all are rather prolific in their circles but the price tag is rather hefty although nothing close to what the schools and other event companies are charging. They go by thousands, mine is a mere $280 and people are complaining of it being expensive.
Given the recent financial crisis and impending economic forecasts of doom, everyone's tightening their belts and companies are cutting training budgets so this is a really bad time for us to do this event. Am praying so hard that things will turn out all right and that we will have at least 200 pax. I think that should be sufficient to cover the costs.
With all the worry about insurance giant AIG being rescued by the Feds, I surrendered 2 policies (am so fuming mad at AIA now, irrationally or otherwise) yesterday during lunch hour and in the process, lost close to $6,000 OF.MY.HARDEARNED.MONEY. If I can react this way to losing $6k, I can't imagine how it must be for the countless of others who lost their homes, life savings and probably jobs soon. With the cost of food rising, natural disasters and all, think the only ones who will be making money during this period are doctors and funeral homes. Sounds dire? But it makes sense. Can you imagine how many people had heart attacks and a rise in blood pressure on Black Monday? And after the Senate refused to pass the bailout plan initially? I've been reading the papers that more and more suicides are happening because of the loss of jobs, mortgages, retirement funds, etc. It's beyond bleak.
And has it trickled down to our tiny island? I think so. People aren't spending, companies are cutting budgets and those employed by financial institutions and banks are pretty much in a limbo state of uncertainty. Asia had our 1997 crisis and weathered through it and so will the US. What goes down must eventually come up. In other less despairing news, "In a speech yesterday in Milwaukee, President Bush vowed to do whatever it takes to keep the economy strong. In fact he said that if he needs to, he will take vacation for another three months." —Jay Leno (courtesy of www.politicalhumor.about.com)
I think I pay more attention to American, Malaysian, Indonesian or even Thai politics than my own Singaporean politics. They're just more interesting and the things that come out of Sarah Palin's mouth sometimes just leaves me flabbergasted that the McCain would pick such an uncouth person as the vice presidential running mate. And that grating accent... oh mah gawd. Although I don't think Obama is that wonderful, he is preferable to another George "Dubya" Bush. He's just more sincere.
I have no idea why am I talking about my event, insurance policies and how it led to American politicians but I think I should stop now before I head to the topic of werewolves. Which is rather interesting actually, given the book am reading. But will stop myself now.
Given the recent financial crisis and impending economic forecasts of doom, everyone's tightening their belts and companies are cutting training budgets so this is a really bad time for us to do this event. Am praying so hard that things will turn out all right and that we will have at least 200 pax. I think that should be sufficient to cover the costs.
With all the worry about insurance giant AIG being rescued by the Feds, I surrendered 2 policies (am so fuming mad at AIA now, irrationally or otherwise) yesterday during lunch hour and in the process, lost close to $6,000 OF.MY.HARDEARNED.MONEY. If I can react this way to losing $6k, I can't imagine how it must be for the countless of others who lost their homes, life savings and probably jobs soon. With the cost of food rising, natural disasters and all, think the only ones who will be making money during this period are doctors and funeral homes. Sounds dire? But it makes sense. Can you imagine how many people had heart attacks and a rise in blood pressure on Black Monday? And after the Senate refused to pass the bailout plan initially? I've been reading the papers that more and more suicides are happening because of the loss of jobs, mortgages, retirement funds, etc. It's beyond bleak.
And has it trickled down to our tiny island? I think so. People aren't spending, companies are cutting budgets and those employed by financial institutions and banks are pretty much in a limbo state of uncertainty. Asia had our 1997 crisis and weathered through it and so will the US. What goes down must eventually come up. In other less despairing news, "In a speech yesterday in Milwaukee, President Bush vowed to do whatever it takes to keep the economy strong. In fact he said that if he needs to, he will take vacation for another three months." —Jay Leno (courtesy of www.politicalhumor.about.com)
I think I pay more attention to American, Malaysian, Indonesian or even Thai politics than my own Singaporean politics. They're just more interesting and the things that come out of Sarah Palin's mouth sometimes just leaves me flabbergasted that the McCain would pick such an uncouth person as the vice presidential running mate. And that grating accent... oh mah gawd. Although I don't think Obama is that wonderful, he is preferable to another George "Dubya" Bush. He's just more sincere.
I have no idea why am I talking about my event, insurance policies and how it led to American politicians but I think I should stop now before I head to the topic of werewolves. Which is rather interesting actually, given the book am reading. But will stop myself now.
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