Bored, blue Monday

I'm not usually blue on Mondays. Unlike a whole lot of other people I know, I'm actually all right with coming to work on Mondays. And this only happens here in this place. With my old jobs, I always dreaded to go into the office. In fact, I dreaded being there the whole week.

This simply tells me that non-profit organisations are better for my peace of mind. I don't know why but after the first 6 months moaning about the lack of structure, lack of IT personnel and budgets, I've come to realise that I actually prefer here than all of my other jobs combined. And all of those were in the corporate sector. I've always been a misfit there. I can look the part but honestly, the whole culture just leaves me stumped and confused and disillusioned. People seem to talk in tongues. But that's just me.

After being in an NPO for almost 8 months now, I'm bored. People offer me a whole range of reasons from it's because it's not my calling to because NPOs are slow. NPOs are relatively laid back and there's alot less politics... I mean there are no bottom lines to speak of and there are so few staff, what's there to compete? It's largely harmonious but there's no such thing as perfect harmony when there's a bunch of humans around each other. 2 already got problem. Pet peeves, annoying habits and browlifting quirks will manifest themselves in no time.

Let me introduce you to my colls.

There's one with huge boobs and I'm talking HUGE. Double Ds have nothing on this gal. I'm talking G-cups here. She can be quite all right but sometimes is a real bimbo. Is never organised and leaves the rest of us to clean up after her all the time. I lost it last week and gave her a talking to but I don't really know how much registered. And this hot-air behaviour of hers really riles up another coll who is a real smart chick but suffers from the negavitity-cum-complainer syndrome. She has a heart of gold and very quick witted but is always so negative about life. And people. I get along with her the most because she seems the most genuine. And auntie like me. Then I have another coll who the blurrest of us all. And sometimes, I think it's put on so she can get away with alot of other stuff. She suffers from verbal diarrheoa from time to time saying out loud things we only say in our head. She told an ex-coll straight to her face, "You're the kind of person who only talks but no action lah." in her sweet, gentle motherly voice, with a straight face and has no ill intent behind it at all. We have an intern currently. An econs undergrad cum modern dancer who's the most indecisive 21 year old I've come across. Can be so aggro at times. Gen Y lah, I tell myself. And our boss is a highly intelligent liberal with mood swings and a sweet tooth who jumps at everything and thinks we have ESP and can read her mind.

So this is my life now. For 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. But overall, they are nice people, nicer and more genuine than the types I used to meet at the bank. I'd rather someone had verbal diarrheoa all the time and spoke their mind than leave me guessing when I'll get stabbed in the back. It's like a little family here and I am rather contented. Except for the job scope.

It's not difficult but it takes me out of my comfort zone. Like PR and event management which are both not my forte. Then again, I don't know what my forte is. But making small talk to random strangers and sales pitches and organising events are not easy peasy for me. Never has been. Perhaps never will. Maybe it'll come in handy for my next move in life. But at the same time, I am administrator, website content manager, copywriter, graphic designer, salesperson, event person, IT person, receptionist, customer service rep. Basically PKL lah.

Am seriously contemplating the next move already. I am fairly sure I received my sign (I think) from above but I have no idea why I am so scared. Time to prayer harder. But I know my prayers are always heard. And answered. In His own time of course.

Plain, Simple and Pink

My girlfriend Angela has always badgered me to do more on my blog. Post pictures! Links! Have music and err.. I can't recall what else. I think if I gave her free rein, I think it will look a lot better than its current state. Babe, you want to try?

But I have never done more than to colour the background and text and change the fonts. Apart from my ineptitude with the simplest of tech, I found that self-expression pervades everything in my life and that translates to Plain and Simple.

My clothes, bedroom, scrapbooks, photo albums, Facebook account, and almost everything says the same thing. It's always be plain (rarely patterned) colours, decorated in a way that's almost childish. If I took photos of my wardrobe, shoe cupboard, scrapbooks and bedroom, you'll know what I mean.

Maybe it's a Virgo thing.

Some of My Favourite Quotes

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night.".

Charlie Brown

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

Oscar Wilde

When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge.

Albert Einstein

God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try.

Mother Teresa

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

Oscar Wilde

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

Albert Einstein

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.

Mother Teresa

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.

Carl Jung

Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.

George Bernard Shaw

To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour.

Auguries of Innocence - William Blake